Like a lot of folks, I’m finally recovering from attending the South by Southwest Interactive conference. It was great to finally meet a lot of the folks that I’ve gotten to know on-line over the last few years in person, and meet a few more folks that I seem to have a lot in common with. And, without trying, I managed to generate some work for my freelance WordPress design business. I had a blast.
But I noticed something else. In these conversations, the names of a few people kept popping up with less than flattering opinions and statements made about them. One person in particular (name not required) came up over and over in a very negative light. Yet, of all the people who made these statements and shared their own negative experiences, only 2 of them had actually SAID anything to this person. They simply ignored them, or worse still passively communicated with them. A few folks actually told how they had been ‘bullied’ by this person when they attempted to ‘break’ their social media bonds.
This is sad on so many levels.
What happened to all the self-respect we talk so much about? Passion, personal goals, and all that jazz. Yet, when faced with a clear load of bullshit, we back down? Allow someone to speak FOR you, ABOUT you, and INSTEAD of you? What happened to this ‘voice’ we all had now?
You were taught better than this
Face it. You know that back when you were wee little ones, you were taught right from wrong, and how to stand up for yourself. It’s a worthy trait to have, self-respect. And I’m also guessing that you don’t enjoy dealing with douchebags and could do something better with your time. So I’ll make you a deal: cut the ties. If you think you’re missing out after 30 days, I’m sure they’ll still be there. But, will they even miss you?
Coming in under the wire, this is my contribution to Holly’s Mentor Roundtables post
Have you failed in life? No? Then you have nothing to teach me. It’s just that simple. In my life and my career, the biggest gains in my life have come from the result of a huge, drastic failure. Failure to finish college. Failure to manage my vices. Failure at my first stab at a career. All of these things were monumental failures. And you know what? I learned more from those than anything else. And that’s what I have to offer. My failure. My experience.
So what do you have to offer? What have you failed at? Because if you haven’t failed, you haven’t been tested. It’s easy to give mentoring advice when you don’t know what happens when the shit hits the fan. How’d you deal with it? What was the fallout? How did you grow?
Because that’s what I would want. Pain is learning.
So stop writing like you are.
We’ve all seen the posts. A list for this, a top-ten for that, a how-to about everything and anything. You’ll usually get some comments saying how great the advice is, or how it’s timely to that person’s situation at that given moment, or maybe it reminds them of something that happened in their life a while back.
And it’s all bullshit. So stop it.
I’m not here to say that you shouldn’t write about personal experience. Most bloggers do. Hell, it’s the most honest thing you can write about (assuming you’re telling the truth, but that’s another post for another day). But please, after you have shared, stop typing and hit publish. Leave out that last paragraph where you’re telling me how that translates into something I am supposed to do with my life. Because you know what? It doesn’t.
Here’s the thing: my life is not your life. There’s a distinct possibility that, while there may be similarities, we have way more differences about us. And that is a GOOD thing. It’s what makes the world worth living. After all, if we were all alike, we’d probably have killed off the human race out of sheer boredom.
But here is where it gets interesting. There are now bloggers out there making a name for themselves handing out advice that they have no fucking business giving. At all. Been freelancing for a month? Don’t tell me how to run a successful business. Been married for a year? The advice better stop at 365 days worth of experience. Think having a dog gives you the wisdom to tell me about my son? Go die in a fire instead.
People have the need to feel important. I get that. But stick to what you know. There’s a reason I don’t answer questions about things I don’t know. I know a little about a lot, a lot about a few things, and everything about nothing whatsoever. And that doesn’t make me less of a person. It makes me a bit more normal.
What happened to all the self-respect we talk so much about? Passion, personal goals, and all that jazz. Yet, when faced with a clear load of bullshit, we back down? Allow someone to speak FOR you, ABOUT you, and INSTEAD of you? What happened to this ‘voice’ we all had now?
I am a freelance web monkey in St. Petersburg, FL. I am heavily tattoo'd, I sleep too little, I drink too much coffee, smoke entirely too many cigarettes, but otherwise do my thing. I have a fantastic wife and a rock & roll son.
