Instead of railing against something I’m pissed off about, I thought I’d rather just quickly leave a description of one of my favorite local bands Nessie.
How they describe their music:
That feeling you get when, after stopping off for one cold beer after work, you suddenly realize you’re on your sixth cold beer and you haven’t eaten and it’s dark outside and the people you were going to meet out later are here because it IS later, and the band is starting to set up. That feeling you get right before you shrug, smile and order Lucky Number Seven.
So the voters in Maine repealed the same sex marriage law. This isn’t the first time a state has either banned gay marriage, or repealed a law on the books. I am serious when I say that I feel ashamed for my fellow man. The fact that people will make the effort to deny others the joy (and frustration) of being with the person they love, in a relationship ‘approved’ by the state is just mind boggling.
This evening I had a conversation on twitter with Lance Haun, who didn’t see it the same way. Not the issue, but the fact that I felt shame over it. After all, I don’t live in Maine, and I certainly didn’t vote to repeal the law, so why should I care? Lance put forth a call to action, to work on improving the human condition instead of feeling shame. I plan on doing both.
Now to be perfectly honest, I don’t know why I care. I’m a middle-class white guy married to a beautiful woman, and have a great son. No one is attempting to remove any of my rights at all. Consider this, however. My wife is part Cuban, so in the past our marriage would have been viewed in a negative light. Her grandmother was disowned for marrying her grandfather (from Cuba), so we aren’t all that far away from that.
Personally, I think NO marriage should be recognized by the state. At all. After all, I do agree with the argument that marriage is defined as a man and a woman. However, that definition comes from the Bible, a book that I don’t give any credence to. I’m not Christian, so the implied morals and rules that come along with it aren’t relevant to me. So if your faith doesn’t agree with the idea of two men or two women getting ‘married’, fine. The states should strictly issue civil unions, and afford all the rights (property, tax, and otherwise) that comes with what we currently attribute to marriage. Then, if your particular faith involves a marriage ceremony, have at it. My ceremony was done on the beach, with family, and no bible was involved.
At the end of the day, I see it as a matter of rights. Rights that voters have said aren’t the same for everyone. I don’t feel OK with the fact that those people share the same blood and soil that I do.
I was reading some blog archives, and came across a post about friendship and how it relates to a career. I thought about it. And I came to the conclusion that my friends have helped me immensely, but not in the ways most people would imagine. I came the following conclusions, and have found them to be crucial for me, both in my career and in my life.
My friends couldn’t care less about what I do for a living
At first glance, that would appear to be a negative thing. But is it? My friends don’t look at me as another reference or networking tool. While we certainly all do that for each other (I’ve gotten a few people jobs at the firm I work for), it’s the the purpose. A good friend of mine and I get together at least once a week in my “cigar club” (my garage) and talk about everything from the latest Hot Water Music release to the proper way to set up a 4 port router to the latest in our social lives (I should say HIS social life. That cigar room IS my social life these days). I have numerous friends who are the same way. While we all could benefit from our individual connections, we’d rather just hang out and enjoy each other’s company.
They know where I came from, and where I could go
While I won’t go into the details, many of my friends know what I was like in my darkest times. We’ve all picked each other up off the floor (literally and figuratively), helped clean up the blood & broken glass, and in some cases even bailed each other out of jail. I know there’s still a video of me with a green mohawk throwing cans of beer at people in the streets of Savannah, GA one St. Patrick’s Day. No corner office will ever change that.
We were friends before anything else mattered
Now this isn’t the case for everyone. Since I’ve basically lived in the same county since I was 6, I am fortunate enough to have many friends that I’ve had for 10+ years, some even more. One good friend of mine recently graduated from pharmacy school, and is looking at a 6 figure income from the gate. We’ve been friends since 1st grade. We watch baseball, get lunch together when possible, and we’re planning on going to see a Yankee’s game this summer in NYC (finances permitting). Is that a pharmacist and an investment professional networking? No. It’s two lifelong friends enjoying baseball.
My friends certainly keep me grounded in my life. They help me have fun, shed the office mentality for a little while, and look back to time where none of that stuff really mattered. Adulthood is here to say, but with good friends, it’s bearable. In the words of Ferris Bueller, “If you have the means, I highly recommend it”.
The only ties I have ever owned were given to me by my dad. They look good, don’t get me wrong. The man is reasonably classy and has good tastes. I mean, at least we have similar tastes. He went to prep school and gets his fashion sense from that. I did not go to prep school, but looked up to him because he was the only non freak show in my life. As such, I follow in his fashion footsteps. In fairness though, my full Windsor is still pretty mediocre. What can I say? Like most Americans my age, I too will probably not be doing better than my parents.
Not a day goes by where I don’t see some mention of how companies are blocking access to sites like twitter and facebook. THE HORROR! Social media evangelists will cry out how this is backwards thinking, how these sites are crutial for career management, that it’s a lack of trust, or just downright unfair. But they’re wrong. It’s the fault of both the employees and management themselves. Not some damn website.
So the heath care debate rages on. While the bullshit about death panels and other nonsense seems to have faded into the background (where it belongs), there still remains one argument that I see repeated over and over again:
“We have the best healthcare in the world”.
Am I the only one who sees the utter fallacy in this argument? If we’ve got the best, then the rest of the world must be damn-near dead. Considering that I don’t know many people who even have a frame of reference, it’s a spotty argument at best.
Some proof? Let me relay a story from today and then ask me how government would make this ‘great’ system worse.
Back a few weeks ago, I was approached by Rebecca Thorman about a new idea she was starting, the Monthly Goal Meet-Up. Seemed easy enough, right? Set some goals and complete them. I get a lot of shit done, so this should be straight forward. Right? Not so much. To recap, here’s the 3 goals I set out to complete in September:
September Career/Life Goals
1. Finish 3 more pieces for online portfolio
2. Set up separate savings account for return to full-time school
3. Set up DBA for consulting / IT business
We’re all goal-oriented, even if we don’t realized. It’s just that some of us don’t have goals that really matter, or they are so far-reaching and ambiguous that there is nothing to hold them up against. I’ve been guilty of doing that as much as anybody. So when Rebecca Thorman IM’d me about a new project she’s started, the Monthly Goal Meet-Up, it caught my attention. With my pending return to full-time academia and all that comes with it, I think it would be a worthwhile venture. So here goes.
September Career/Life Goals
Finish 3 more pieces for online portfolio
Set up separate savings account for return to full-time school
I am a big fan of Elliott Spitzer. I don’t like Yankees, and I especially don’t care for ones who are probably fans of the baseball team known as the Yankees, but damn is this dude my dude. I am too tired to write about some stuff or crap, but here’s a video that helps you understand why I am super bummed that this guy is not living high on the government mountain. And don’t forget, Joe Scarborough is a scumbag. Hey Joe, guess who’s number one preseason? Not Bama. You suck.
