Maine, Gay Marriage, and a Black Heart

The rings certainly don't care about gender.

So the voters in Maine repealed the same sex marriage law. This isn’t the first time a state has either banned gay marriage, or repealed a law on the books. I am serious when I say that I feel ashamed for my fellow man. The fact that people will make the effort to deny others the joy (and frustration) of being with the person they love, in a relationship ‘approved’ by the state is just mind boggling.

This evening I had a conversation on twitter with Lance Haun, who didn’t see it the same way. Not the issue, but the fact that I felt shame over it. After all, I don’t live in Maine, and I certainly didn’t vote to repeal the law, so why should I care? Lance put forth a call to action, to work on improving the human condition instead of feeling shame. I plan on doing both.

Now to be perfectly honest, I don’t know why I care. I’m a middle-class white guy married to a beautiful woman, and have a great son. No one is attempting to remove any of my rights at all. Consider this, however. My wife is part Cuban, so in the past our marriage would have been viewed in a negative light. Her grandmother was disowned for marrying her grandfather (from Cuba), so we aren’t all that far away from that.

Personally, I think NO marriage should be recognized by the state. At all. After all, I do agree with the argument that marriage is defined as a man and a woman. However, that definition comes from the Bible, a book that I don’t give any credence to. I’m not Christian, so the implied morals and rules that come along with it aren’t relevant to me. So if your faith doesn’t agree with the idea of two men or two women getting ‘married’, fine. The states should strictly issue civil unions, and afford all the rights (property, tax, and otherwise) that comes with what we currently attribute to marriage. Then, if your particular faith involves a marriage ceremony, have at it. My ceremony was done on the beach, with family, and no bible was involved.

At the end of the day, I see it as a matter of rights. Rights that voters have said aren’t the same for everyone. I don’t feel OK with the fact that those people share the same blood and soil that I do.

{ 6 comments }

Erica November 4, 2009 at 7:22 am

I’m with you. I mean, not literally because I don’t live in Maine. But I would feel the same way. Who are these people that would repeal someone’s rights? Who is standing in the way of civil liberty? Why would I run into them at the supermarket? Aren’t they in some backwoods village? So infuriating.

burnsy06 November 4, 2009 at 11:44 am

It’s not just Maine that has voted against marriage equality. I’ll point out that California (generally considered far from “backwoods village”) even voted against it.

This election was not a mandate. It’s not like 60% of eligible voters said “Screw the Gays! No marriage for you!!” We lost by a narrow, winnable margin. It means that next time we come back, work harder, work longer (if at all possible), and finally win the rights that so many have been waiting for.

There were a LOT of people here in Maine who donated whatever they had (money, time, food, support, votes) to see this referendum defeated. Let’s not belittle their (our, my) efforts by damning the entire state.

Norcross November 4, 2009 at 11:52 am

As one who dealt with a lot of unwanted national press due to state-specific issues (Florida is just fucked, what else can I say), I understand your point. I didn’t intend to single out Maine as the sole offender, rather, the most recent in a string of states. That being said, I’m surprised that in the Northeast (I am originally from Boston) this went through like it did.

This post wasn’t intended to belittle the efforts, rather, to point out my inward shame about the whole situation on both a national and human level.

burnsy06 November 4, 2009 at 11:58 am

Sorry – truthfully it was more the “backwoods village” comment that set me off.

That and the twitter chatter saying Maine is horrible *sigh*

It’s been a trying few hours

(As I’m sure you remember from a couple election cycles down there ;)

cooper November 5, 2009 at 12:56 am

I agree, states should issue only civil unions for legal reasons, and anyone should be able to choose the civil partner of their choice. As far as marriage being between a man and a women… I am agnostic and think the whole religion thing is bunk, so whatever difficulty anyone has within their religion regarding who they can or can not marry is something for them to deal with privately within their chosen religion and isn’t anything I would bother campaigning for or caring about one way or another.

I’m not at all surprised about Maine.

Walter November 5, 2009 at 8:12 pm

Humans are foolish. In their effort for “righteousness” they have destroyed the well-being of others. They have set up systems that divides rather than unite. All of us are entitled to our own happiness and despite the prohibitions of the system we must look forward to find ways to achieve such happiness. :-)