Maybe it’s the summer heat, I don’t know. But lately I’ve seen a lot of posts regarding drinking, drug use, addiction issues, and the like. The folks at The Next Great Generation did a whole ‘drug week’ series. Jolie O’Dell recently wrote a post about her experiences with being newly sober (again). And there have been others in the past who have been pretty open about their experiences with drugs and alcohol.
I have not one of those people. Well, I guess not until now.
While I’ve made minor mentions of it here and there, and most people who know me personally know, I am not cavalier about my own personal situation. So let’s just get it out in the open. I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. Have been for quite some time. In fact, I will be celebrating 7 years sober on Sunday. (August 1st). For those scoring at home, I got sober before I turned 23. Which means my drinking and drug abuse got so bad that at the ripe old age of 22, something needed to change. And change it did.
Here is the quick synopsis:
- Age 10: Began smoking cigarettes
- Age 13: Began smoking week
- Age 15: LSD, Xanax, various other pills
- Age 16: Booze
- Age 19: Cocaine
Those were the main ones, mind you. As far as drug use goes, there isn’t a single drug that was available at the time that I didn’t do at least twice. Yes, that includes heroin and crack. (Meth hadn’t reached Florida yet, but I’m sure I would have done it if given the opportunity).
So why am I writing this? Why now? Why at all? Gonna be honest here, I’m not too sure. It isn’t as though I need to ‘announce’ it at all. Nor am I trying to warn anyone. I assume all of you reading this are adults and can make decisions for yourself. And my own personal experience doesn’t really mean jack shit to your life. Maybe I just wanna give you all some background into why I am the way I am. Why am I considered ‘no bullshit’? Because I can be. How is it that nothing seems to bother me? Because I’ve already been through hell. Literally. There is a lot to this story that I have left out, because frankly its none of your fucking business.
Ehh. Here’s to 7 years.
Put down the Kool-Aid. You’re embarrassing yourself.
Community is big right now, isn’t it. It seems everywhere you turn, there is a new ‘community’ popping up. I bet you’re in a few. Hell, you probably read this blog because you know me from one. I belong to a few. I’ve been a member of a few in the past that I no longer affiliate with, and I’m sure there are a few down the road that I’ll join.
There is nothing wrong with that. But here’s the thing about community. If you aren’t careful, you stop remembering why you are there, and just begin to listen to whatever the leader says. No more thinking, no more analysis. Just following. Blind.
There was a reason you joined in the first place. Maybe you liked the topic. Or perhaps the people involved. You read and enjoyed the content, shared it with your friends and followers on places like Twitter and Facebook. You added the RSS, were eager to press that retweet button when a new post came out. It was exciting. You were a part of something good.
Then something happened. There were a lot of new people that don’t share the views you thought the community held. What used to be a fresh perspective was becoming stale. Repetitive. Recycled. But the leader still had that ‘something’ you liked in the beginning. So you continue to read, comment, and share. You’re still participating. You’re invested. And just like a junkie wishing to get the feeling back from that first time, you keep on jamming that needle in, hoping that perhaps, this time it’ll be better.
It won’t.
For all the talk about how Gen-Y is independent, self-willed, etc we sure as hell follow a lot. We do something because other people are doing it. You want to get on-board in the beginning. Be a thought leader amongst your online crew. Pride and ego are a sonofabitch, isn’t it?
It’s time to stop. Stop following. Quit ignoring the signs. Question your leaders. ALL of them. If it’s a shitty post, say so. If the leader is wrong, make sure you share that just as loud as you did with the good stuff. If they’re a fraud, SCREAM IT. Better to be a loud asshole who’s right than a quiet one.
Remember, some people may be following you the same way you are to others. If you don’t say something, you’re just as bad.
I was reading some blog archives, and came across a post about friendship and how it relates to a career. I thought about it. And I came to the conclusion that my friends have helped me immensely, but not in the ways most people would imagine. I came the following conclusions, and have found them to be crucial for me, both in my career and in my life.
My friends couldn’t care less about what I do for a living
At first glance, that would appear to be a negative thing. But is it? My friends don’t look at me as another reference or networking tool. While we certainly all do that for each other (I’ve gotten a few people jobs at the firm I work for), it’s the the purpose. A good friend of mine and I get together at least once a week in my “cigar club” (my garage) and talk about everything from the latest Hot Water Music release to the proper way to set up a 4 port router to the latest in our social lives (I should say HIS social life. That cigar room IS my social life these days). I have numerous friends who are the same way. While we all could benefit from our individual connections, we’d rather just hang out and enjoy each other’s company.
They know where I came from, and where I could go
While I won’t go into the details, many of my friends know what I was like in my darkest times. We’ve all picked each other up off the floor (literally and figuratively), helped clean up the blood & broken glass, and in some cases even bailed each other out of jail. I know there’s still a video of me with a green mohawk throwing cans of beer at people in the streets of Savannah, GA one St. Patrick’s Day. No corner office will ever change that.
We were friends before anything else mattered
Now this isn’t the case for everyone. Since I’ve basically lived in the same county since I was 6, I am fortunate enough to have many friends that I’ve had for 10+ years, some even more. One good friend of mine recently graduated from pharmacy school, and is looking at a 6 figure income from the gate. We’ve been friends since 1st grade. We watch baseball, get lunch together when possible, and we’re planning on going to see a Yankee’s game this summer in NYC (finances permitting). Is that a pharmacist and an investment professional networking? No. It’s two lifelong friends enjoying baseball.
My friends certainly keep me grounded in my life. They help me have fun, shed the office mentality for a little while, and look back to time where none of that stuff really mattered. Adulthood is here to say, but with good friends, it’s bearable. In the words of Ferris Bueller, “If you have the means, I highly recommend it”.
I am a freelance web monkey in St. Petersburg, FL. I am heavily tattoo'd, I sleep too little, I drink too much coffee, smoke entirely too many cigarettes, but otherwise do my thing. I have a fantastic wife and a rock & roll son.
