parenting

Keep washing. Always washing. Must be clean. Be pure. Because we all know that germs are from the devil.As I was avoiding some of my work the other day, I came across this post over at Scary Mommy. The gist of it was a mother (a guest post) explaining why she wasn’t OK with her child’s 4th grade teacher being “openly” gay. (As opposed to being “closed” which means…????). I left a long-winded comment, but it got my mind thinking.

How am I raising my child?

As some of you might already be aware, my wife and I are in the process of an amicable divorce. No fighting, nothing bitter or whatnot. (We actually get along great. Just wasn’t meant to be married anymore I guess.) But as littleman grows up, we will be faced with a lot of choices and issues surrounding him. As it stands now, Mamma and I are pretty much on the same page. But he’s only 3, so there haven’t been many things to really deal with. But they’ll come soon enough.

The author of that post said something that just struck a chord with me: “As I raise my children, I want to surround them with people who are like-minded with us.” Am I in the minority of people who DON’T want that for their children? After all, it’s his life to live, not mine. I believe that it’s my responsibility as a parent to instill values, a sense of right and wrong. But I’m also aware that what I think is right and wrong may not be correct, or appropriate for everyone else. (If that weren’t the case, we’d all be pretty messed up.). But in the end, I want my son to have his own experience, his own live, his own story. Not one I made up for him.

I know the day will come when I need to have the talk with him about drugs and alcohol. This is one of those things that Mamma and I will probably disagree on, to some point. After all, I’m the drunkard, not her. So we clearly have different views. And while I won’t allow him to drink underage in the home (or “allow” him to do it outside), I’m also not stupid and know it’ll happen, so I plan on making sure he knows that if he’s drunk, he either needs to sleep it off there or call me and I’ll come get him, no questions asked. Buy beyond that, I don’t see much in the way of issues that I have a firm stance on that I feel he “must” follow. I’m not religious. I’m liberal, but not a zealot. I’m a nerd, and I’m pretty sure that’ll rub off on him. But after that? Sky’s the limit.

What say you?

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While I am classified as being in Gen-Y (I was born in 1980), I tend to ride the fence in terms of my perceptions vs. the general sentiment of bloggers out there. One thing I’ve noticed lately is many folks giving advice (which is really closer to their opinions) on what it takes to transition into the workforce. And most of it is bullshit. But as I see it being spewn about the internet, I can’t help but remember seeing the same thing happen to me when my son was born. So how is starting a career like being a new parent?

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Work / Life balance. It’s a popular topic these days, with some people saying it’s impossible, while others saying it’s a matter of priorities. While they have a point, in my experience they’re missing the big picture. Everyone has balance. Because everything has weight. So while it may seem like your life is in complete disarray, it is balanced in the way you decided it should be. Don’t like it? Then change it.

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