Put down the Kool-Aid. You’re embarrassing yourself.

Community is big right now, isn’t it. It seems everywhere you turn, there is a new ‘community’ popping up. I bet you’re in a few. Hell, you probably read this blog because you know me from one. I belong to a few. I’ve been a member of a few in the past that I no longer affiliate with, and I’m sure there are a few down the road that I’ll join.

There is nothing wrong with that. But here’s the thing about community. If you aren’t careful, you stop remembering why you are there, and just begin to listen to whatever the leader says. No more thinking, no more analysis. Just following. Blind.

There was a reason you joined in the first place. Maybe you liked the topic. Or perhaps the people involved. You read and enjoyed the content, shared it with your friends and followers on places like Twitter and Facebook. You added the RSS, were eager to press that retweet button when a new post came out. It was exciting. You were a part of something good.

Then something happened. There were a lot of new people that don’t share the views you thought the community held. What used to be a fresh perspective was becoming stale. Repetitive. Recycled. But the leader still had that ‘something’ you liked in the beginning. So you continue to read, comment, and share. You’re still participating. You’re invested. And just like a junkie wishing to get the feeling back from that first time, you keep on jamming that needle in, hoping that perhaps, this time it’ll be better.

It won’t.  

For all the talk about how Gen-Y is independent, self-willed, etc we sure as hell follow a lot. We do something because other people are doing it. You want to get on-board in the beginning. Be a thought leader amongst your online crew. Pride and ego are a sonofabitch, isn’t it?

It’s time to stop. Stop following. Quit ignoring the signs. Question your leaders. ALL of them. If it’s a shitty post, say so. If the leader is wrong, make sure you share that just as loud as you did with the good stuff. If they’re a fraud, SCREAM IT. Better to be a loud asshole who’s right than a quiet one.

Remember, some people may be following you the same way you are to others. If you don’t say something, you’re just as bad.

I was reading some blog archives, and came across a post about friendship and how it relates to a career. I thought about it. And I came to the conclusion that my friends have helped me immensely, but not in the ways most people would imagine. I came the following conclusions, and have found them to be crucial for me, both in my career and in my life.

My friends couldn’t care less about what I do for a living

At first glance, that would appear to be a negative thing. But is it? My friends don’t look at me as another reference or networking tool. While we certainly all do that for each other (I’ve gotten a few people jobs at the firm I work for), it’s the the purpose. A good friend of mine and I get together at least once a week in my “cigar club” (my garage) and talk about everything from the latest Hot Water Music release to the proper way to set up a 4 port router to the latest in our social lives (I should say HIS social life. That cigar room IS my social life these days). I have numerous friends who are the same way. While we all could benefit from our individual connections, we’d rather just hang out and enjoy each other’s company.

They know where I came from, and where I could go

While I won’t go into the details, many of my friends know what I was like in my darkest times. We’ve all picked each other up off the floor (literally and figuratively), helped clean up the blood & broken glass, and in some cases even bailed each other out of jail. I know there’s still a video of me with a green mohawk throwing cans of beer at people in the streets of Savannah, GA one St. Patrick’s Day. No corner office will ever change that.

We were friends before anything else mattered

Now this isn’t the case for everyone. Since I’ve basically lived in the same county since I was 6, I am fortunate enough to have many friends that I’ve had for 10+ years, some even more. One good friend of mine recently graduated from pharmacy school, and is looking at a 6 figure income from the gate. We’ve been friends since 1st grade. We watch baseball, get lunch together when possible, and we’re planning on going to see a Yankee’s game this summer in NYC (finances permitting). Is that a pharmacist and an investment professional networking? No. It’s two lifelong friends enjoying baseball.

My friends certainly keep me grounded in my life. They help me have fun, shed the office mentality for a little while, and look back to time where none of that stuff really mattered. Adulthood is here to say, but with good friends, it’s bearable. In the words of Ferris Bueller, “If you have the means, I highly recommend it”.

The only ties I have ever owned were given to me by my dad. They look good, don’t get me wrong. The man is reasonably classy and has good tastes. I mean, at least we have similar tastes. He went to prep school and gets his fashion sense from that. I did not go to prep school, but looked up to him because he was the only non freak show in my life. As such, I follow in his fashion footsteps. In fairness though, my full Windsor is still pretty mediocre. What can I say? Like most Americans my age, I too will probably not be doing better than my parents.

But it’s not for lack of trying….

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I can safely assume that a good number of you who read this blog know about Brazen Careerist. So I don’t need to tell you that they’ve re-launched the site, moving away from a blog-focused site into a robust social networking tool for career-minded Millennials to advance, promote, and further themselves in an ever-tighting job market. (If you don’t know about it…well…now you do. So get on it.) Being on the older side of the “Gen-Y” spectrum, I’ve seen an evolution in how folks get hired, fired, and advanced within a company. Lance Haun over at YourHRGuy.com did a fantastic post on it, so I won’t waste anyone’s time. Considering I started my corporate career over 10 years ago, it’s safe to say that a lot of my youthful transgressions that would have otherwise kept me from being employable were fortunately done before everyone’s life was on-line.

So what’s it all about, then? Why bother connecting with folks when I’ve got a job? Simple. There is nothing static about your career anymore. Not yours, not mine. Take my own path for example.

Intern → Accountant → Chef → Accountant → Money Manager → ???

I put the ??? at the end of that because I have no idea what’s coming next. As some of you may know, I am leaving my position (and the salary) at the end of the year to go back to school full-time and finish my degree. My goal? Information Systems Management. In other words, something completely unrelated to any of my previous jobs.

So what does Brazen Careerist have to do with this? Everything. I’ve been doing quite a bit of freelance work in the last few months, with the intention of having that supplement my lack of income once I am back in school. I figured it would take 6-12 months to build up some steady business. How long did it take? 4 weeks. Why? Because of places like Brazen Careerist, I was able to connect with people that I otherwise wouldn’t have had the pleasure (or disdain) to meet. It’s been a melting pot of politics, technology, honest debate, and forward-looking people. People that are not easily found.

And seeing many of their success stories, I can be confident in leaving one career to start on another.

If you listen to some people, you’d think that social media is the elixir that’ll save the world, or at least corporate America. It’s also the A-#1 place to “brand” yourself and network, haven’t you heard? Forget the old ideas like “meeting people” and “talking to work associates”, just hop on-line, throw a few interests up, connect with the Chris Brogans of the world, get a nice head shot, and viola! your brand is complete!

Companies that “get it” allow and encourage things like Facebook at the office. Twitter is replacing email and other mediums as the go-to source for news and information. Sure it is. It’s also some of the dumbest, intellectually devoid garbage you’ll see in your life.

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I had an eye-opening experience this evening. It wasn’t a new networking software or a panel of influential blogger. No, it was much simpler than that. I had dinner with a work colleague of mine and his wife. He’s the head of the new business (read: sales) of my firm, and has been in the business for a long time. He’s in his mid 60’s, and was close to retirement until the market tanked. He invited me over for dinner with he and his wife. And I must say, I learned more about networking and business practices tonight than I ever have before. If tonight was any indication, Gen-Y shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the Boomers, but rather look to learn from their wealth of experience.

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Last weekend, I went to the Harvest of Hope Fest in St. Augustine, Florida. While I am still physically in pain, mentally I returned refreshed, recharged, and in an overall better mood. (I also came back having picked up smoking again, but that’s not important here).

Now, as a good geek and internet junkie, I brought both my smartphone and my netbook, along with all the chords and chargers to make sure I stayed connected. Did I? No. But not for the reasons you think. I got a good signal, was able to connect, and do whatever I needed to. But, unbeknownst to me, I went “off the grid”. And it was fantastic.

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