From the category archives:

marriage

The rings certainly don't care about gender.

So the voters in Maine repealed the same sex marriage law. This isn’t the first time a state has either banned gay marriage, or repealed a law on the books. I am serious when I say that I feel ashamed for my fellow man. The fact that people will make the effort to deny others the joy (and frustration) of being with the person they love, in a relationship ‘approved’ by the state is just mind boggling.

This evening I had a conversation on twitter with Lance Haun, who didn’t see it the same way. Not the issue, but the fact that I felt shame over it. After all, I don’t live in Maine, and I certainly didn’t vote to repeal the law, so why should I care? Lance put forth a call to action, to work on improving the human condition instead of feeling shame. I plan on doing both.

Now to be perfectly honest, I don’t know why I care. I’m a middle-class white guy married to a beautiful woman, and have a great son. No one is attempting to remove any of my rights at all. Consider this, however. My wife is part Cuban, so in the past our marriage would have been viewed in a negative light. Her grandmother was disowned for marrying her grandfather (from Cuba), so we aren’t all that far away from that.

Personally, I think NO marriage should be recognized by the state. At all. After all, I do agree with the argument that marriage is defined as a man and a woman. However, that definition comes from the Bible, a book that I don’t give any credence to. I’m not Christian, so the implied morals and rules that come along with it aren’t relevant to me. So if your faith doesn’t agree with the idea of two men or two women getting ‘married’, fine. The states should strictly issue civil unions, and afford all the rights (property, tax, and otherwise) that comes with what we currently attribute to marriage. Then, if your particular faith involves a marriage ceremony, have at it. My ceremony was done on the beach, with family, and no bible was involved.

At the end of the day, I see it as a matter of rights. Rights that voters have said aren’t the same for everyone. I don’t feel OK with the fact that those people share the same blood and soil that I do.

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I’ve come to the time in my life where more and more of my friends are getting married. Good for them. As one who has gone through it myself, I’m a big fan. However, once the conversation moves to the planning portion, I’m at a loss. Once they start talking about the various hardships involved with choosing napkins, locations, etc. I can’t help but laugh quietly to myself. Then I think of this video, and laugh even harder.

So here’s my little secret: I planned my entire wedding, and I did it exactly how my wife and I wanted, for less than $1,000 (rings included). So for those who think a wedding is impossible for under $30,000, ditch the magazines. They’re lying to you.

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