Coming in under the wire, this is my contribution to Holly’s Mentor Roundtables post

Have you failed in life? No? Then you have nothing to teach me. It’s just that simple. In my life and my career, the biggest gains in my life have come from the result of a huge, drastic failure. Failure to finish college. Failure to manage my vices. Failure at my first stab at a career. All of these things were monumental failures. And you know what? I learned more from those than anything else. And that’s what I have to offer. My failure. My experience.

So what do you have to offer? What have you failed at? Because if you haven’t failed, you haven’t been tested. It’s easy to give mentoring advice when you don’t know what happens when the shit hits the fan. How’d you deal with it? What was the fallout? How did you grow?

Because that’s what I would want. Pain is learning.

The other night, I had a plan. A good plan. A productive plan. After my AA meeting, I was going to go downtown, fire up the laptop, finish a blog post I’ve been working on, tweak a few things on my laptop, set up some FTP access for a friend, and maybe catch some football on TV. But I did none of that. Instead, I had a cigar and enjoyed the football game with the other patrons. And in doing so, I came to a realization that had been gnawing at me for a while.

You need to turn ‘off’ the multi-tasking and networking from time to time.

Smoking cigars is something I do to relax and unwind. It’s somewhat of a carryover from the 15 years I smoked cigarettes (yes, I started smoking at age 10, and even worse I began again a few months ago.), some of it is tied to my father’s own cigar smoking, but mostly it’s a reason to sit down and decompress. Given that it takes a good 45 minutes to an hour to smoke a cigar, it’s almost as though I am mandating relaxation to myself.

So why do I want to include other work in it? I don’t, and I shouldn’t. While it’s OK to do something else from time to time, there’s a reason I need to relax in the first place. If I begin to incorporate other tasks into it, the meaning and purpose is gone.

There is always the push to always be ‘productive’. Whether it’s the non-stop data feeds of RSS and email, the numerous GTD posts, blogs, gurus, or just the fact that there are more things to do than time to do them, we often lose sight of relaxation. Relaxation IS productive, probably more so than half the things I do to ’stay on top of things’. When I am in a situation that is calming and relaxing, I have a better chance of seeing through the problems and issues I may be facing at that time. I can allow all the half-thoughts to either complete themselves or filter there way out.

And most importantly, I can watch football.

Not a day goes by where I don’t see some mention of how companies are blocking access to sites like twitter and facebook. THE HORROR! Social media evangelists will cry out how this is backwards thinking, how these sites are crutial for career management, that it’s a lack of trust, or just downright unfair. But they’re wrong. It’s the fault of both the employees and management themselves. Not some damn website.

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Back a few weeks ago, I was approached by Rebecca Thorman about a new idea she was starting, the Monthly Goal Meet-Up. Seemed easy enough, right? Set some goals and complete them. I get a lot of shit done, so this should be straight forward. Right? Not so much. To recap, here’s the 3 goals I set out to complete in September:

September Career/Life Goals

1. Finish 3 more pieces for online portfolio
2. Set up separate savings account for return to full-time school
3. Set up DBA for consulting / IT business

So how am I looking? Not bad, but not fantastic. Let’s lay them out one by one. (more…)

We’re all goal-oriented, even if we don’t realized. It’s just that some of us don’t have goals that really matter, or they are so far-reaching and ambiguous that there is nothing to hold them up against. I’ve been guilty of doing that as much as anybody. So when Rebecca Thorman IM’d me about a new project she’s started, the Monthly Goal Meet-Up, it caught my attention. With my pending return to full-time academia and all that comes with it, I think it would be a worthwhile venture. So here goes.

September Career/Life Goals

1. Finish 3 more pieces for online portfolio
2. Set up separate savings account for return to full-time school
3. Set up DBA for consulting / IT business

So let’s see what happens.

I always talk about getting rid of cable. Unfortunately, I never get around to it because I have little interest in dropping off the box. And, I have a routine in the morning where I watch Morning Joe on MSNBC. It’s actually a pretty terrible habit if you think about it. But, like all reasonably obsessive compulsive people, I have a hard time breaking habits.

Anyways, I always complain about Morning Joe because the pundit banter is pretty obnoxious and I think Joe Scarborough is a tool. Here’s a guy who went to UF but roots for Bama. That’s like doing a tour of duty in Iraq and going “you know what bro, I just root for Al Queda. I like where their heads’ are at and I think they’ve got a good tradition going on.” (more…)

If you’re somewhat active on Twitter, I’m sure you’ve seen the constant updates regarding the issue in Iran (for those that aren’t aware…well…look it up. It’s kinda big). You also may have noticed that many of the user avatars having a nice green overlay to them. It’s to support democracy in Iran, or so I’ve heard. While the gesture is nice, I think people are missing the point. Whether it’s green icons, a ribbon sticker on your car, or any other adoption of a cause, the simple acts people take do not give it any more credence. (more…)

When I was young, my father told me a few things. One of them was to be careful about offering unsolicited advice, since often times I won’t know the whole story. And that’s been true to this day.

Recently, there was a dust-up over a post regarding leaving a job and “burning bridges”. One post spawned numerous others. And I did my part, commenting on a few with my experience regarding the situation. As it often times happens, people disagreed, and thus ensued a back and forth of right and wrong, proper blogging etiquette, and so on. Granted, none of that really matters to me, as I feel people are allowed to do whatever they want with their lives, both on-line and off. And deal with the rewards or consequences that come along with it. Such is life. But another underlying theme arose: what responsibility does one have when giving advice? That thought gave me a “lightbulb” moment, in regards to my writing. While I have a good amount of experience or advice, I’m not really comfortable just putting it out there at will. Why? Because you didn’t ask.

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Recently, I was involved in a brief conversation on Twitter with Jamie Varon, Andy Drish, and Nisha Chittal about using Twitter for accountability amongst each other. While it’s not a bad idea on face value, there are some fallacies that lie with most attempts at fostering some accountability.

1. You don’t want to do the task / job at all
2. You don’t have someone to call you on your failings
3. There are no consequences

Who in your life keeps you accountable? Is it a spouse / significant other, a parent, a close friend, an employer? There isn’t anything wrong with having these people in your life keep you accountable, assuming you’re actually doing what you’re supposed to do, any maybe only need some nudging along the way. The problem comes, however, when you fail. Or worse yet, when you never tried at all.

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