About Matt

Matt is a Florida native. Not only does he hate Joe Scarborough for being a tool who roots for Bama even though the asshole went to UF for law school, but he also thinks it’s stupid that he wears pink dress shirts like some kind man with no penis or something. No self respecting Southerner would do that.

Matt grew up in Palm Harbor, Florida, BEFORE it was complete suburban hell. Back when many of the neighborhoods were orange groves or cattle farms. Truthfully though, he was born in St. Pete, Florida. So, he’s not a total hick. Matt graduated from Palm Harbor Elementary School, Palm Harbor Middle School, and Palm Harbor University High School. He is also a graduate of UF (fuck you Joe, these colors never run). He once tried to transfer to NYU, but they told him that “plenty of people are willing to pay the full price” when trying to deal with the financial aid office. He’s cool with it. He hates Yankees anyway. But he kind of wishes he went really. It is all weird.

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